Well, I was finally able to do it.
The stuff came super-packed/wrapped. Inside of a cardboard box, with styrofoam worms, wrapped in a thick plastic bag that was zip-tied shut and clips on the lid.
You'll see it looks pretty nasty unstirred:
And spend the 79 cents to get one of those pouring things for the can. The stuff is extremely runny/oily/liquidy and if it gets into the lip of the top of the can, will permanently seal the lid with the can. Plus it's just easier to pour.
And to keep it from drying out, I used the only thing that works: Holiday Plastic Wrap.
After the first coat:
And three hours later, with the second coat:
It went on very easily, nice & uniform, but adhered more like a paint rather than being soaked into the wood or absorbed like a sponge would do. It gave off a smell that reminded me of the combination of plastic, Testors glue and enamel paint when building models as a kid.
The first coat went down in about an hour, and was only (maybe?) 1/4 of the can. The second coat took around 45 minutes and that took me down to a little more than halfway, more than enough for the hatch and the remaining piece in the front.
They say to use a phenolic core roller, whatever that means (I didn't spend much time looking that up online, although I normally do, and the guys (plural) @ the box store were no help), so I made sure I used one specifically made for varnishes & urethanes, rather than the ones made for all types of paint.